40-year-old mom refuses to let her friend's thieving 10-year-old daughter stay at her house unsupervised, friend freaks out: 'Is there anything she could have stolen that’s worth the price of a friendship?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 26, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Lots of kids are little kleptomaniacs, but there is certainly a spectrum. There's a difference between a toddler grabbing a spool of thread at the craft store without knowing that they were stealing, and a kid who fully knows better taking something that's not theirs. I had a friend in the 1st grade who came over to our house for a play date, and never came over again because she took from my sister's piggy bank. My sister wasn't even in kindergarten yet, and this girl was so greedy that she wanted to take her hard-earned pocket change away from her. It wasn't like this little girl was strapped for cash. I went over to her house once, and it was so big I thought it was an office building. She didn't only try to take cash: she tried to take things from our dress-up chest, including but not limited to plastic princess shoes. I hope she's doing well now and hasn't been arrested for shoplifting.

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  • A young girl sitting on a bed holding a cell phone
    via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

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  • To be fair, that girl was 6 years old and still had time to get her act together and learn to be a good person. The little girl in this story is 10 years old and continually steals from private residences and businesses. When her mom's friend didn't want her alone in her house, her mom freaked out and nearly ended the friendship over it. You'd think your friendship would be worth more than your ego about your badly behaved child, but apparently not! 

  • Am I wrong for not having over my friend’s daughter who steals?

    My friend and I, both F in our 40s, have daughters around the same age (10). We have been friends for 20 years, but the past few years our relationship has been strained due to our different political beliefs, parenting styles, and what I would call her paranoia. She once got mad at me for something I didn't do, but she assumed I did.
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  • She has told some of her close friends about her daughter's history of stealing. She has stolen quite a bit of money from several family members and shoplifted from a store, as recently as a month ago.
    via u/Similar_Meeting_1918
  • Fast forward to a few days ago. I was having my friends over for a girls night. My husband was taking my daughter to a movie. My friend texted to ask if she could bring her daughter. She said she could stay home with her older brother, but that they're "not getting along." I asked my
    via u/Similar_Meeting_1918
  • Group of people watching movie in a movie theater
    via Krists Luhaers

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • husband what he thought, since he lives here too. He asked if I could find a way to not have this girl at our house, basically unsupervised since the adults would be talking.
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  • Two women sitting on a couch talking and laughing
    via Samsung UK

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I prefer to be honest & direct & not come up with a lie, so I texted my friend that my daughter would not be home & that we weren't comfortable having her daughter over given her history. I honestly expected her to reply, "I understand. Those are the consequences of her actions."
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  • She did not, and got very upset. She didn't come over, and I don't even know if we will continue to be friends. I asked my other friends what they thought when they arrived, if I was out of line. They said yes. They said kids
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  • make mistakes, I could have kept an eye on her, and "is there anything she could have stolen that's worth the price of a friendship?" What do you think, AITA for not letting her come over?
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  • ScarletNotThatOne Of course you don't have an unsupervised child in your house, when that child has a stealing habit. NTA.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • Shutupandplayball NTA - and let's see if those disagreeable friends invite this child to their home
    via u/Shutupandplayball
  • Gleandreic Ohhh this right here OP, lets see how they feel about her in their own house after she steals their dowry
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  • starchy2ber Its also a bit mean to bring a kid to an event when there's nothing for them to do, no other kids to play with etc. Even a well behaved kid may get into hi-jinx in these circumstances.
    via u/starchy2ber
  • Boring_Passage6577 NTA. Your friends are morons. I would not want the stress of having a thief in my house. However, why not have the child go to the movies with your daughter? It would have solved the problem.
    via u/Boring_Passage6577
  • m1chgo Because then the stealing kid becomes OPS husbands problem, why should he have to deal with her?
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  • nuggiemum Maybe they didn't want her tagging along.
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  • squuidlees If the cinema is in a mall that's ample opportunity for the girl to ask if she can browse shops and go steal stuff. Or at least that's what I'd do if I was that klepto girl. No responsible adult wants to bail someone else's kid out of mall jail.
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  • Sharp-Ad-6157 "is there anything she could've stolen that's worth the price of friendship" would have sent me to the moon ummmm absolutely???? TF
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  • Think_Storm_8909 Leave this kleptomaniac unsupervised in these people's houses and immediately watch them find the actual price of this friendship is
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  • Gleandreic Hmmm, my wallet, dowry/jewelry, phones, laptops, etc
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  • InnerChildGoneWild NTA. Though I wouldn't have left this open for debate within your friend group. You and your husband made a decision and it isn't open for debate.
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  • k23_k23 "I could have kept an eye on her, and "is there anything she could have stolen that's worth the price of a friendship?”" .. have the next meetups at THEIR house. Then the daughter can steal THEIR stuff, since THEY don't mind. ΝΤΑ
    via u/k23_k23
  • Similar_Meeting_1918 OP Clarification: my friend with the daughter had already told the other 2 friends what happened; I was not spilling any beans.
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  • Complex Storm 1929 NTA. I get the girl is just a kid and 100% deserves the benefit of the doubt. However, it's obvious her mother is not parenting her right. If a 10 year old girl is stealing money from family members and from stores she needs some serious guidance and consequences. Kids learn through their parents what they can and can't get away with.
    via u/Complex_Storm_1929

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